I finally got a 4-drawer chest to replace the shambled 10-year-old one I’ve had since undergrad. I know, haunting! But I guess that’s where my ounce of frugality lives…furniture. Nonetheless, after opening the box and allowing the sea of pieces to pile onto the floor…the relief I seconds ago felt, slowly turned into grief. The picture on the box was a long puzzle away! Let’s see…Right End A plus Left End B, insert hidden cam into…bullshit! Sounds like a game of Twister gone terribly erotic! Looking at my freshly applied coat of OPI Bubble Bath, by yours truly, I pondered on taking a break after merely inserting three cam dowels!
So here it is…my first attempt at beginning 2010, unlike the conclusion of 2009. Starting something and being too chicken shit to finish, is all behind me. Seems like I was sadly mistaken. After hours of FB talk about “getting it in 2010″ and “I left all that behind in 2009″…I thought that at midnight, NYD, my altar ego would transform me into Wonder Woman. With a vengenance I’d scour everything in my path, cleaning up the unfinished business of 2009. Sigh. I’m already exhausted and I haven’t even begun to check-off the few to-do list tasks of 2010. A mountain of laundry mocks me and I throw in a Sex and the City DVD to distract the unfortunate course of events.
I guess one of my old college buddies was right. These resolutions don’t mean diddly-squat, if you can’t address the core of why they exist in the first place. I need to lose weight…one could use my stomach for air-bag impact upon head-on collision. Have I been to the gym yet, like so many Newees? Nope. Have I stopped using profanity? Looking at my previous paragraphs…you be the judge. But I beg to offer this argument, is the New Years Experience really so one-shot? I mean could I decide on September 20, to make changes and be just as effective. Maybe it’s too much pressure. Everyone’s joining gyms, going to church tomorrow, and even choosing their words carefully. The world is finally looking up folks.
I’ll get to the 4-Drawer Chest in a little while. Right now, I just want to eat brownies, watch SATC re-runs, and sleep off and on through a cold and sunny Saturday. Today, I embrace my dysfunction. Maybe after slumber, this kryptonite will wear off and my cape will wave ever-so high. And it will be back to cam dowels and metal brackets. Kapow!
