They were friends for a long time before Erykah took the plunge and kissed him romantically backstage.
I posed this question to a few of my FB fam’ members and some of the responses were truly predictable. “Don’t do it” , “I did it and we’re no longer friends”… and while this issue may seem very reminiscient of similar topics in women’s magazines, I promise that I will try not to beat another dead horse.
I have a best friend who is a guy. And in the eyes of others, he’s very handsome. Not that I don’t think he’s handsome, but my eyes have never searched him in that way. But I will say this, my mother’s eyes seem to roll into the back of her head when I even mention his name. She’s like…”giiirrrrl, you’re crazy. He would be more than my friend.” I shake my head at her obvious attraction to a younger man. Cougar Mom, ready to pounce.
In an effort to protect his booty calls, half-hearted relationships, and bachelor-hood, let’s call him David. David and I have been nothing more than real friends since 1997…subtract that from 2010 and you’ve got 13 years of genuine friendship. I love him. He is my confidant. If anyone could write my biography with every ounce of juice an avid reader would need to make it from cover to cover, he would be the one. He knows all of my secrets and has never once judged me or held them against the unconditional love we share for one another. But after watching one of my close friends marry her best friend last year…I couldn’t help but wonder, why hasn’t cupid took a shot at our buns? We’ve never taken our relationship beyond the comfort level of friendship. We’ve never been in a compromising situation where the lights are low, hormones are hi-fiving, and the song “Girl Next Door” is the soundtrack of the moment. When I’m in his company, it always feels so safe and serene. We joke around and laugh nonstop and bring an ease of carefree-ness, that a person would share with a best friend.
I have taken that plunge with another “guy” friend. Hormones subjected us to a night that we both regretted and it put an irrevocable flaw in our friendship that took us from close friends to one-quarter acquaintances. I guess that unfortunate demise, taught me a valuable lesson that makes me hold David’s hand with a mutual certainty…we’re just friends. Some of my friends have asked me if I have ever looked at him in another way…I’ve tried to, but to go beyond 1st base, makes me pull the trash can a little closer to the bed. I wouldn’t barf, but my gag-reflex would be tested. In my dreams, however, and when I look at “the list” of the man I’ve asked God for, he has every attribute of my Mr. Everything.
I clearly understand that relationships are valuable in every degree. And even as just friends, there’s nothing that I’m missing out on. Maybe it is (hint-hint). But taking our relationship to the next level, would definitely be extra credit, that would have to involve a long, pre-meditated conversation, minus sex-inducing elements like alcohol & erotica. We would have to discuss the principles of our relationship and if our foundation is strong enough to secure a structure built to last a lifetime. A structure with more than one bedroom and at least 2 full baths.
Fortunately, we do have a pact…if we aren’t involved by 60, we’ll go ahead and seal the deal. Either way, Mr. & Mrs. or David & I, we’ll always be the best of friends.
In your opinion, what do you think of friends becoming lovers?
